Searching for Home
by thewinchesterlifestyle
Summary: One of the first things Castiel noticed once he had fallen was how light he felt. And he hated it. His wings were gone. Stripped from him and he was grounded. So Cas did the only thing he could after his siblings stopped falling from the sky. He started walking. Forced himself to not focus on the lack of weight at his back. How he couldn't stretch his wings or tuck them close.


Disclaimer: If you recognize it then I don't own it.

Pairing: Cas/Dean

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One of the first things Castiel noticed once he had fallen was how light he felt. And he hated it. His wings were gone. Stripped from him and he was grounded. So Cas did the only thing he could after his siblings stopped falling from the sky. He started walking. Forced himself to not focus on the lack of weight at his back. How he couldn't stretch his wings or tuck them close. How the light from his halo was gone. Everything that had made him Castiel, from the moment of his coming into existence to now, was gone. Stripped from him with one small cut and put into a vial before he was cast once more from Heaven. From his first home. And now he was in search of the home he'd found for himself on Earth.

Dean Winchester

He couldn't find Dean by the light of his soul nor the welcoming warmth of it. Instead Cas was forced to figure out his location; to rely on the kindness of strangers or his own quick fingers to survive. Finally the day comes where everything clicks once more into place. He is sitting on a curb with his head in his hands and trying to ignore everything when a distant feeling tugs at him. The one thing left over from his grace that nothing could severe. A bond so strong and bright Cas can feel it without being an angel. The feelings of loss, hunger, pain, fear, uncertainty and sorrow at his lost wings. By now he had gotten used to those little tugs and the slight warmth that would sometimes unexpectedly keep him going. Give him an extra push.

Before this moment he would have known the instant that Dean Winchester was near. Could have picked him out of the billions of humans on the planet without a thought. Just looking at all those souls and he would have known which one was Dean. But it isn't until a warm and secure arm wraps around his shoulders as a body sits next to him that everything drops away. That the bond snaps tight and floods with emotion. With warmth and care. Relief and happiness chasing them along the remains of Castiel's grace.

Blue eyes glance sideways and he still doesn't hope until he sees bright green looking back at him. The complete warmth and care and love and relief dancing in those eyes stops his heart before it kicks up double time.

Cas is staring at freckles and green eyes. At so many emotions flashing across Dean's face and every single one of them is directed at him. His whole being is practically singing and he notices the weight at his back. Warm and comforting where his wings once were. Dean's arm holding him close and secure.

Everything is focused on Dean Winchester.

"Hello Dean." his voice is rougher than usual. His hair is a mess, there are cuts healing on his face and he's dirty.

Broken.

Graceless.

Useless.

And there is nothing he can offer Dean. He can't protect Sam. Can no longer hear Dean's prayers. There is nothing he has that will help Dean's continued survival nor his brother's.

"_Cas_." the hunter's voice is rougher as well and when Cas looks a little closer he notices those green eyes are slightly glassy. A little red.

But his name and how Dean says it has Cas turning, wrapping his arms around Dean and dragging the hunter close. His whole body against Dean's and taking in the warmth the other is offering. He knows he's shaking and holding too tight but Dean's arms are coming around him. Cas can feel how Dean is holding him just as tight and can feel the stubble on Dean's face brushing against his bare skin.

"I missed you." even though he had heard Dean's voice on the phone. Had spoken to him since his fall it was nothing compared to having the actual man in his arms. Here with him. Safe and warm. Breathing in Cas completely relaxed into Dean as the smell of leather, spice and the Impala fills his senses.

"_Dammit Cas_. Don't ever do this to me again." the emotion is more than obvious and Cas pulls back to stare at Dean. Doesn't care if anyone is staring at them sitting on the curb hugging or staring at each other. He just needs to see Dean's face. "_Please stop leaving me_." it's so low that if Cas wasn't close he might have missed it.

Blue eyes are darting over Dean's features. Taking in everything and Cas doesn't care anymore. He's moving his hand up and gripping the short strands he finds before he's moving forward. Pushing their lips together and just _feeling_. He's dirty and broken and it isn't the best kiss in the world. Isn't the one he had thought about when it came to his hunter but Cas needs it more than he needs anything else right now.

He _needs_ Dean.

And Dean responds. Pulls him closer and tangles his own hand in Cas's hair trying to drag them closer as he shifts. They're holding tight and pressing close. Pushing every single emotion into the kiss and when they break for air Cas just stares at Dean. Memorizes his face even though Cas knows he could never forget the man before him. Even when everything had been pushed beneath the surface after the Leviathan he had still remembered green eyes and freckles in his sleep. Had known, even then, the color and shape and feeling of Dean's soul.

Had felt their muffled bond.

"_Dean_." the one word that means so many things to him punches out of him and he's still holding tight. Still staring at Dean and until this moment hadn't realized he'd dragged the hunter into his lap but can't find that he cares. Enjoys the feeling. "I need you." he's failed so many times to say it. To know exactly what Dean is saying when the hunter had said it in the past. But Cas knows what it means and he is going to say it this time. "You're..." he trails off and stares. Wants to give Dean something that the hunter has given him. Honest need and finds the words to express what he wants to say. To confess. "You're my home and my wings." he takes a breath, "I don't want to leave."

The wide grin and absolute delight presented at those words fills Cas up. Sings along their bond and he can feel those strong arms wrapped around him again. Resting along his back and for the first time since he was cast once more out of Heaven Cas knows he's home again.

"Let's go Cas." Dean flushes as he realizes where he's sitting but pushes past it to stand. Helps Cas up and tugs the fallen angel towards the Impala. And there, folded up in the passenger seat, is a washed trenchcoat. It's sitting there with a blue tie resting on top and this time the tears do spill down his cheeks.

"You were so close." he murmurs it and reaches out a hand to touch the clothes he never thought he'd see again.

"I couldn't leave them behind. Cleaned your coat and tie as best I could but the other clothes weren't salvageable." Dean climbs behind the wheel as Cas carefully picks them up and sits them in his lap. Closes the door. "Let's get you a shower, some food and into clean clothes." the engine roars to life, "I hope you don't mind borrowing mine until we can get you some."

With a small smile Cas continues to run his fingers over the fabric of his coat, "I don't." he finally looks up and meets Dean's eyes once more, "Thank you for looking for me. For finding me."

"I'll never give up on you Cas."

"I know."


End file.
